When I grow up I’m going to be a life coach. It is decided.
Or a motivational speaker a la Tony Robbins. Because I love telling people they’re fantastic.
Because people are fantastic.
My Summer Reading List: 2014
Updated/Edited with finished books crossed out, books I’m currently reading in bold, and a few additions:
The Goldfinch - Donna Tartt
- The House of Mirth - Edith Wharton (r)
Howards End - E.M. Forster
Sweet Tooth - Ian McEwan
- To the Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf
A Handful of Dust - Evelyn Waugh
Decline and Fall - Evelyn Waugh
- 1984 - George Orwell
- NW - Zadie Smith
- The Mill on the Floss - George Eliot
- Evelina - Frances Burney
- The Secret Keeper - Kate Morton
- Regeneration - Pat Baker
- The Children’s Book - A.S. Byatt
- The Lowland - Jhumpa Lahiri
- Selected Stories - Katherine Mansfield
- Longbourn - Jo Baker
The Elegance of the Hedgehog - Muriel Barbery
- The Blind Assassin - Margaret Atwood
- The Waves - Virginia Woolf
- This Side of Paradise - F. Scott Fitzgerald (r)
- Summer - Edith Wharton (r)
The Enchanted April - Elizabeth von Arnim
The Uncommon Reader - Alan Bennett
- The Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkien (r)
- Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh (r)
- Vile Bodies - Evelyn Waugh (r)
- Gender Trouble - Judith Butler
- Moses and Monotheism - Sigmund Freud
- Totem and Taboo - Sigmund Freud
- Le mythe de l’éternel retour - Mircea Eliade
- The Women’s Room - Marilyn French (r)
- Vida - Marge Piercy (r)
- Faust - Goethe
- The Fellowship of the Ring - J.R.R. Tolkien
- The Two Towers - J.R.R. Tolkien
- The Return of the King - J.R.R. Tolkien
(r) = rereads
A Blog With A View always has the best reading lists. I may actually follow her just for the reading lists.
"I don’t wear makeup so I don’t have to waste like an hour in front of the mirror every morning hahahaha"
"open books not legs"
"why have tequila shots when you can have tea?"
"As always, late with Starbucks"
"modest is hottest"
"I’m not like those girls”
Holy shit you're fucking insane xD there's women having there head cut off and being stoned to death in Saudi Arabia, and you're here complaining the 'babe' is oppressive. Feminism, what a fucking joke.
Welcome to the oppression olympics, where you’re not suffering enough unless you are actively in the process of dying at another’s hands. The tagline is, of course, How dare you have an opinion!
Not comparing being called “baby” to being imprisoned/raped/murdered for…well, for being female. It’s a thing. A thing that offends me. And as this is my tumblr (on which I acknowledge my ongoing ridiculous levels of privilege as an educated English-speaking white woman with enough money to pretty much do what she likes), I get to speak about these things.
I’m not being oppressed by four words. Well, not by these four words. Seeing them or hearing them may trigger a reaction in me, but that was kind of the point: expressing my reaction to these four so-called terms of endearment. I don’t find them endearing. I do find them anti-feminist. Having an experience and then analysing said experience & then writing about said analysis of said experience - well, that’s kind of the point of writing.
It’s cool that you don’t care. It’s awesome, anon, that you conflated my personal offence at these four terms with all of feminism. Because that is a perfectly reasonable response. Feminism is a joke because my experience has led me to feel dismissed by the word “Babe.”
Yes, I see my mistake now.
You may think it’s sweet…
#terms of endearment
#are you TRYING to offend me?
…but it’s belittling, demeaning, and dismissive: a list of nicknames
I’ve actually had these thoughts rolling around in my head for a long long time, but I keep biting them back, because maybe it’s just me and I’m being too sensitive? But then again, if someone is calling me by the offending terms, then who else is there to be outraged but me? And so I present to you my list.
- Baby - I’m not your baby. I’m not a baby. Are you trying to infantilise me, or did you just forget my name? When I hear a woman accept this “endearment”, I cringe. Baby?!! Fuck off with your “Baby.” I am no one’s baby. Neither is that adult woman to whom you’ve attached that term. Setting feminism back 30 years! There’s not another word that can ruin the mood so quickly, regardless of the level of intimacy. (Well, maybe genocide. Or cockroach.)
- Babe - like baby, only minus the infantilisation. Mostly just tacky. And dismissive. Like you haven’t got time for me and would rather I just shut up - stand there and look pretty. Or at least try to. It’s a trifle dehumanising but still the least offensive term on this very short list.
- Hun - Unless you are referring to Atilla, hun is just so offensive. I know there are people who use it all the time, as their twee little “I appreciate you enough to give you a diminutive,” but I swear to God, it is second only to “Baby” in cringeworthiness. Are you my grandmother? Are you over the age of…I don’t know…eighty? If neither of these are true, then can it with the hun nonsense.
- Sweetie - I once had a customer call me sweetie. About four times in a ten minute interaction. I think she was trying it out, and I was just the unfortunate recipient. But as a retail employee, receiving that from a customer my own age was demeaning. She was startled when I replied with “Yes, dear.” Well I mean really. Again, unless you’re my grandmother (or possibly my mum) and/or I am under the age of sixteen, don’t fucking call me sweetie.
I use pet names and diminutives all the time. I think maybe we all do. And I’m sure they annoy people as well. When people call my name at work, I respond automatically with “Yes dear.” I routinely tell my students that they’re my favourite, and I’m a bit effusive in my compliments. (It’s the American in me.) And really, there are hundreds of endearments (even generic ones) that don’t make my skin crawl.
- dear/dearest/dear one, etc
- my love
- my heart
- etc etc etc ad infinitum
Weirdly, I also have a name. An actual name, or a self-chosen moniker, that you are more than welcome to use. Because that’s what it’s for, my name: identifying to whom you’ve directed that comment.
Or no name. I mean, if you’re responding to me, we both already know to whom you’re speaking. And if we’re not friends, no endearments allowed. Because that’s creepy.
Don’t be creepy.